Q: I’ve never done counseling before. What can I expect?

A: When we first meet, we’ll get to know each other a little. I may ask some questions about you and what’s going on. You’re free to ask me questions about myself, my style, my background, whatever! Some people like to get a framework for what we’ll do or what counseling is, and some people just have a lot of stuff on their mind, maybe they’ve been holding for a long time, and just want to say what’s going on with them. Like every session, it’s a balance between what you want to talk about and perhaps some input from me that I think could be helpful.

Q. You keep saying counseling. Is this different then therapy? 

A: Yes, and no? Honestly, there is so much overlap between the terms. I choose counselor because I believe it is closest in line with what I do, but I AM a therapist. I also may be a coach at times, although I have no formal training in it. Therapy is usually associated more with processing the past, perhaps one’s trauma, or their relationship growing up with their parents. We can certainly do some of that, but I am more focused on the present and what new insight you can gain, and what thought and behavioral patterns can be shifted so that you can be more content and healthy. Sometimes though, people do need to make some sense and process the past before moving on to the present, and we can do that if it feels important. (Example: We are working on better communication strategies between you and your partner, and we process how you didn’t have a good model of communication between your parents growing up)

Q: Are you going to tell me what to do? 

A: Nope! I may counsel or give advice if I think it’s warranted, but this is YOUR space to process what’s going on with you, what you want, and where you could use support in. The process is done mutually, and I work with you at your pace, to work through whats going on. There are probably plenty of people in your life who could offer advice, maybe even compassionately, but having someone who will listen, collaborate, ask questions, ponder, and support all at the same time is invaluable.

Q: How do I know if it’s a good fit? Will you work with anyone?

A: This can be a tough question, because sometimes a counselor/therapist can suck, but sometimes someone may feel uncomfortable sharing their feelings or being pushed and they blame it on a bad fit. So there’s no real answer to this. However, at the very least, you should feel comfortable, listened to, and feel some sort of connection, similar to any good relationship. I will not work with anyone, and if I feel I am not the correct person for you based on my style and skillsets, I will tell you and perhaps will give a recommendation on what type of person with a specific background would be a better fit.

Q: Do I have to work with you indefinitely? What if I only want to chat a few times? Or maybe once every few weeks?

A: I’m totally open to any arrangement that makes sense for you, as long as my schedule can permit it. That being said, I do recommend giving weekly sessions a try at the beginning for the work to have the best results.

Q: Do you only work with men?

A: Nope, I do and have worked with all genders.